By Dan Beenken

On October 17, we tackled a subject that is often a bit taboo in our culture—mental health and addiction. Specifically, it focused on how to be a supportive family member to someone dealing with these issues. Based on the statistics shared by our speaker, Diana Clark, it’s an issue facing more of us all the time. Clark has a background in counseling, of course, but beyond that, she has also been part of a multi-generational family business. This unique combination allowed for some great experience-sharing with our audience.

On to my top 3:

1. Connectedness is Key – Recovery is more than just living without a substance. True recovery is a process that brings that individual back into a full life of well-being; a central part of that is healthy social interactions. Avoiding and ignoring the fact that addiction exists in your family further erodes the social connections that your loved one needs most.
2. Don’t Protect the Addicted – In any family, and especially in a business family, avoidance and enablement are often the go-to strategies. We don’t want conflict, so we allow the addicted person to continue their behaviors as long as it’s not creating chaos. Unfortunately, that only serves to further enable your family member. Additionally, when you intervene during their crises and conflicts, you diminish any self-motivation they might have to accept help and change.
3. Codependency – Addiction affects far more than just the addict. It's important to remember that there is a family of loved ones surrounding that person. As a family member, you will experience stress, anxiety, depression, and all sorts of negative mental and physical symptoms. Remember to care for yourself at the same time you are putting so much effort into supporting your family member.

If you are in a scenario with an addicted loved one, I can’t recommend Clark’s book more—Addiction Recovery: A Family’s Journey. There are some excellent checklists in the book that can really open your eyes to just how big the problems may be in your family.

I am going to close with a quote Diana shared with me several times, which, as a parent, I need to remember:  
“Pain and struggle are the anvil upon which our children’s character is forged.” — Desmond Tutu